Nothing bothers me more than every other Wednesday. That’s the day my deposit for work is usually pending and I can see how much I am getting paid on that Friday. I sit and crunch numbers. I’m a number person. I want everything to be zero. I want everything to equal out and I want everything to go flawless without a hitch.
This is why we have three checking accounts. Yes, I said three. When we first got married we opened an account with Bank of America. Bank of America is everywhere they said. Get an account there and you’ll always be near a location they said. “They” were wrong. Lee’s training base was in Mississippi where, you guessed it; there are no Bank of America’s. We then were stationed in England. On the bright side the overseas bank on base was a military institution ran by Bank of America so the ATMs were theirs. I never had to pay a fee so at least it came in handy there. Once we came back stateside we switched to USAA and haven’t been happier. I also work for a credit union here in SC and have two checking accounts with them.
So why does a couple with two incomes need three accounts? Because I am exaggerated neurotic that’s why. The moment my paycheck hits I know where every single last penny goes. I place every bit needed for bills into my secondary checking account, pay on loans and if by chance there is any leftover then it’s my tiny bit of freedom money. I seriously work for sanity and to pay down debt.
If it weren’t for my overly cautious system I would forget bills, miss payments and end up with excessive fees. Not to mention my husband still has no idea how to sign on to our online banking. This way he can see our main account and nothing else. He knows before his paychecks hit on the first and fifteenth how much will be left over after bills. Thank goodness for amazing smart phone applications because without his USAA App allowing me to pre-program the information. He would never know the balance without it and probably spend until the cows come home or at least the creditors started calling.
It also seems that every paycheck I am trying to find ways to get ahead. I look and think this month we’ll put more here, bring this balance down, pay this off but in the end it never happens. Something comes up or we just end up splurging too much. It kills me, seriously. I feel like I die a little each month. This is what I do. This is part of my job and I’ve taken multiple classes on finance. I am minoring in finance for Pete’s sake and I can’t even get myself on a balanced budget. How can I do my job and help others if I don’t follow my OWN advice. I love working in the finance industry and helping others become more aware of their financial needs but these moments I feel like a personal sham.
Am I the only one who feels like a failure? What’s worse is I know I am a small percentage of debt in this world. On average in 2013, a household has a debt of $15K in credit cards. I don’t even come close to that but that is my fear to be a part of the statistic. Maybe it’s because I got in a rut at eighteen and hated when I finally had to tell my parents I was stuck in a financial rut. I never want to be back at that place.
As humans, we always fall and things come up. Today I began my beginning of the month stress at finalizing bills for this month. I looked it over and attempted to make yet another plan to get out of debt as soon as humanly possible. I question why I torture myself every month.
Tomorrow is Wednesday and I’ll be waiting to see the pending figure amount as usual. Crunching numbers, making sure it aligns with my plan and figuring it out to the last penny; when everything balances out to zero.